Todays weather has been nothing short of glorious, so I thought I would take a stroll through a local Business Park on my lunch break.
As always, I called my sister Emma and chatted to her as I walked. Most of the conversation was spent with me describing in great detail, how hot and sweaty I felt and how the sand on the pavement was blowing up my skirt and sticking to my legs (Sexy, I know, calm down lads), when all of a sudden, I felt as if someone was very, very close to me. Being completely oblivious and stupid, I didn't pay attention to this feeling and carried on chatting and walking. I then begun to cross a road, when out of no where, a young, handsome man, all suited and booted popped up beside me and asked if I was on the phone? Bewildered, I replied yes, but he continued and asked if he could have a moment of my time and asked for me to come off the call, all the while grinning like a Cheshire cat about 5cm from my face.
I instinctively replied ‘no’ in a high octave voice and smiled awkwardly whilst trying not to die crossing the road, all the while he came, closer and closer to my being nearly resulting in me falling in nearby shrubbery…
As always, I called my sister Emma and chatted to her as I walked. Most of the conversation was spent with me describing in great detail, how hot and sweaty I felt and how the sand on the pavement was blowing up my skirt and sticking to my legs (Sexy, I know, calm down lads), when all of a sudden, I felt as if someone was very, very close to me. Being completely oblivious and stupid, I didn't pay attention to this feeling and carried on chatting and walking. I then begun to cross a road, when out of no where, a young, handsome man, all suited and booted popped up beside me and asked if I was on the phone? Bewildered, I replied yes, but he continued and asked if he could have a moment of my time and asked for me to come off the call, all the while grinning like a Cheshire cat about 5cm from my face.
I instinctively replied ‘no’ in a high octave voice and smiled awkwardly whilst trying not to die crossing the road, all the while he came, closer and closer to my being nearly resulting in me falling in nearby shrubbery…
Now, I’m unsure if this ‘gent’ was trying to chat me up or sell me something, but for all you fellas out there, I thought I would give you a few handy tips when you feel you want to approach a person of the female variety:
1. Do not creep up on women from behind, it is weird and women are like deer; we startle easily.
2. Do not do number 1. when crossing a road! You're just asking for trouble.
3. Do not come within arm’s length of a women that you do not know, we all have personal space so let’s just keep it personal to ourselves, yeh? (Especially if I've just been talking about how sweaty and smelly I am. Back up for your own safety)
And 4. Most importantly, if a girl is speaking to someone else in minute detail about how uncomfortable, sweaty, bloated or hormonal they feel, I guarantee it’s not going to happen. Just back up and walk away. You may hear some things that cannot be unheard.
2. Do not do number 1. when crossing a road! You're just asking for trouble.
3. Do not come within arm’s length of a women that you do not know, we all have personal space so let’s just keep it personal to ourselves, yeh? (Especially if I've just been talking about how sweaty and smelly I am. Back up for your own safety)
And 4. Most importantly, if a girl is speaking to someone else in minute detail about how uncomfortable, sweaty, bloated or hormonal they feel, I guarantee it’s not going to happen. Just back up and walk away. You may hear some things that cannot be unheard.
So all in all I was freaked out during my lunch break, I'm still really sweaty and I still have sand stuck to my thighs. Great.
Side note: Usually, if a guy approaches me in a romantic gesture sort of way, I always try to think 'Well, he's made an effort and that must of took a lot of guts to come up to me and start a conversation' so I try not to be rude or tell them to bugger off straight away. However, this time, I didn't really hold back. I was so freaked out I instantaneously said no. Woops.
Have any of you had funny experiences when being approached by the opposite sex? Let me know in the comments below.
Oh boys...the poor wee lambs! I'm not mocking their techniques I promise...(well, not much anyway).
Oh boys...the poor wee lambs! I'm not mocking their techniques I promise...(well, not much anyway).
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