Friday 16 October 2015

I need to vent

(Please note: This is going to be a very whiny, 'poor me' sort of post. There may be a few jokes, lol's and sarcastic humor, but overall, prepare yourself for an onslaught of 'WHY ME?!' sorta thing. You've been warned).

Let’s just ignore the fact that this rant is coming from a relatively healthy (I have sinusitis, not Ebola, so I should count my blessings) free (as in, I can do what I want, not that I’m now being sold at the low, low price of zero!) Western woman, with a roof over her head who is surrounded by friends and family.

Let’s just ignore the fact that I could have it a lot worse. I know that

I'm actually so aware that I should be grateful for all the things I do have in my life, that I’m annoyed at myself for feeling so down about the bad things in my life. 

How ridiculous is that? Annoyed at myself for feeling low. 

You can call me Self Deprecator the Extraordinaire!

Just about everything is annoying me right now and I mean everything. People talking to me, eating near me, scratching, coughing, slurping, breathing. But I know the only reason everything is annoying me so much is because I'm on the edge already and everything else is just the cherry on top of this crap heap of an ice cream sundae (ew).

So why have you been so down Kirsty? Thanks for asking Kirsty, I'll explain why. 

I’ve been made redundant 

After being on a rolling contract for 2 years, 2 months ago I was finally made permanent. Praise the lawd'! At last I finally felt secure; I felt secure in my job and I finally felt like a fully-fledged member of my team. A permanent job meant I could get a mortgage, plan for the future, save more, you know? All that amazingly fulfilling adult malarkey that we've all grown to love and strive for.

Yet 2 months after being made permanent, my company made a shocking announcement (and I mean shocking. No one had a bloody clue!) that quite of few of us were to be let go and I was one of them.


The real kicker is that I absolutely adore my job. I love the company, the people, the role, the whole fucking shabang. So for the next few months I'll be stuck in employment limbo whilst I finish the end of my contract. No plans can be made. No mortgage can be sought after. No security will be had.

(Told you this was a 'poor me' post)

I passed my driving test

AT BLOODY LAST! After putting this off for god knows how long, I've finally passed my driving test, which means I can finally buy a car! Amazing! I'm 27 and I can finally own my first ever!!!

Oh, no. Wait. You've just been made redundant. No car for you my love. Back to relying on lifts from friends and family and back to feeling like a complete loser who hasn't got her life together. Great.

Have you got a boyfriend?

If you are at a similar age to me and are single, I’m sure you’ve experienced this as much as I have. If you’re younger than me and single…prepare yourself, because in the near future you will find out how annoying this sort of stuff is.

A few years ago no one gave two flying hoots about my love life, but now! Oosh! All of sudden because I’m nearly 2 years off 30 (Good Lord, someone kill me) everyone seems to be watching my poor, lonely, cat lady life play out and they feel as if it’s necessary to pry or pity me. 

Calm down people, in the words of Gloria Gaynor, I will survive.

I’m questioned about my relationship status on a daily basis. I’m told I must be picky because I’m single. I’m told to ‘put myself out there’, I’m told to ‘just settle’.

It’s not as if I’m not aware that I’m at that age in my life where I should be settling down. I know I should be. I'm reminded everyday when someone new on my Facebook news feed gets engaged or married. I get it! I'm just sitting here watching reruns of Grand Designs from 1999 with a bottle of vino to myself asking my cat how his day went. I get it. I'm alone and should be doing something about it.

I’m told that I'm getting on a bit, that my looks will fade, my body will change and I'll no longer be this fertile baby making machine. I
'm told I need to get married, have babies and live happily ever after. 

To all the people who are constantly on my case about my love life, please see below: 

Buying a house

'Hi, I'm Kirsty and I'm 27 and still live at home with my mum'. I'm such a catch, right?

If you're not at the stage in your life where you are thinking about mortgages, I have only one piece of advice for you: Start saving, now. Right this second kinda now. Seriously.

Mortgages are expensive and extremely hard to save for on your own but I'm at this stage in my life where I want to move out in to my own place and just have something to call my own, but unfortunately, like many people at my age, it's nearly impossible to do so.

My room

This is an odd one and something I could solve easily if I just had enough time.

My room really needs to be redecorated. Desperately. I’m half way through the process but now the process has just stopped. Living in a room which is half finished with paint and furniture for so long is honestly driving me insane. It just shows how your living space can really affect your mood.


I actually feel somewhat better for ranting about this utter drivel. Does anyone else feel like sharing? Let’s make this into a therapy session where we all just cry at our computer with a glass of wine in hand and talk about our problems (sounds like every Friday night to me. Wahey!)

I hope you are all having a better time than me. Thanks for stopping by and I promise, I'm not usually like this*. 



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