Thursday 6 April 2017

Top 10 worst things in the world*

*May not actually be the top 10 worst things in the world 

1. Breaking your nail when you're not at home and it's now a horrible broken/jagged mess but there's not a nail file in sight. Yes, Satan has entered the building.

2. Queuing for a specific item of food but the bastard in front of you orders the last one. See you in hell my friend, see you in hell.

3. Hurting yourself badly around children and not being able to swear. WHO TAUGHT LITTLE JONNY THE F WORD? 

4. Knowing EXACTLY what you’re going to wear on a night out then finding out it’s in the wash and you have no plan B! It's confirmation that God really does hate you.

5. Trapping your fingers in something. Enough said.

6. Holding gas in around your partner but your stomach makes a noise like you passed wind, but you didn’t pass wind and now he thinks you did pass wind and now you’re wishing you did pass wind but the moment has gone and the opportunity has been taken from you by the fake wind noise and you’re now in uncontrollable pain and embarrassment. Great.

7. Taking pity on a cute, tiny, elderly person on public transport, so you give your seat to them, befriend them and then find out they’re a massive, outspoken racist. #awkward

8. Trying your very hardest at something, giving it everything you’ve got and seeing it to the very end, only to find out you're actually rubbish at said thing and you failed miserably. Soooooo, I’ll just go back to eating carbs and carry on watch Gilmore Girls in bed, shall I?
9. Giving a stranger directions and realizing 5 minutes later you’ve sent them the wrong way but it’s too late to tell them so meh. Then seeing the exact same strange again 15 minutes later, but they are now staring daggers into you so badly, you're shocked you haven't burst into flames yet. (Yeah, that genuinely happened to me).

10. Missed period.

I hope you enjoyed this tongue in cheek post, I know some won't enjoy this humour but I honestly don't care (I'm feeling super sassy at the moment). What do you think should be added to the list? Let me know in the comments below.
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